Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans. Peter F. Drucker
Commitment is the steel that strengthens everything we do—our careers, relationships, dreams, and personal growth. We’re constantly told that success, love, and happiness come from commitment, dedication and follow-through. And it’s true. But there’s one commitment that outweighs all the rest, one that determines the quality of everything else in your life: and that is your commitment to yourself, your commitment to YOU.
Yet, how often do we not even really make that commitment to ourselves—or we do, and then we break it, or ‘cheat on’ it? Heck, if a partner treated us that way—made us that unimportant or cheated on us that much—we probably wouldn’t stay with them. We may basically know what we want—typically the things everyone says they want: love, success, money, happiness, respect. But do we boldly and unconditionally commit to those things for ourselves, without hesitation or excuse?
We show up for work even when we don’t feel well, ignoring our own health and our body’s need for rest.
We make and keep promises to friends and family, without regard to what we want or what is important to us, we put our own dreams and desires aside.
We say yes to others, often doing things we don’t really want to do, sometimes without even thinking it through, it often means saying no to ourselves and what we really want.
And we wonder why we feel drained, unfulfilled, or resentful. We may even start wondering is this all there is?
What Does it Mean to Really Commit to Yourself
Isn’t that selfish? I was certainly taught that it is, maybe you were too.
Committing to yourself isn’t about being selfish at all—it’s about being intentional and getting clear on what you want in your life. Creating the life you really want and doing the work, sometimes even the very hard work, to get it. It’s about knowing that your well-being, goals, and boundaries matter just as much as anything or anyone else.
It takes: Showing up for yourself even when no one is holding you accountable. Holding yourself accountable. Not just hoping it will happen—making sure it does.
Keeping promises to yourself—the ones you make when you’re alone with your thoughts, knowing you want more. But not just waiting for it to happen or hoping someone else makes it happen for you.
Setting and sticking to your boundaries so your time, energy, and emotions aren’t spent on things that don’t align with you.
It means no longer shrinking for the comfort of others or to be liked—because you were never meant to play small.
It’s about thinking deeper and no longer just doing what’s easy in the moment.
It’s easy to commit to a job, a relationship, or a responsibility because we see immediate consequences if we don’t. But the cost of breaking the commitment to yourself is often silent and slow—it looks like lost confidence, hurt, not feeling good enough, shame, unrealized potential, and a life that feels like it’s happening to you instead of being created by you.
The Long Term Results of Self-Commitment
Here’s the truth: when you honor yourself first, everything else benefits.
Your relationships improve because you teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. It attracts the people that treat you the way you desire and deserve to be treated.
Your confidence grows because you trust yourself to follow through—and that trust creates a life you actually want.
Your energy shifts in a big way, and suddenly, the right opportunities and people seem to just show up.
When you choose yourself, you set a standard—not just for your life, but for everyone around you. And those who can’t handle it? They were never meant to hold space for you anyway.
A Challenge for You
Take a moment today to reflect:
What is one commitment you need to make to yourself right now?
Where have you been putting yourself last?
How would your life change if you honored your own needs first?
Drop your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear them. And if this resonated with you, share it with someone who needs the reminder: YOU are your most important commitment
