How could you surf if all the waves were even? It would be impossible, however, surfing the low of the wave is difficult and challenging. The deeper the lows of the wave, the higher the high……surfing the low is tough but when the high comes…..ahhhhh, surfing the highest of the high wave is so worth it. Surfing even waves gives us no reference for that.
If every day was completely even life would get pretty boring. But our low days are not always easy to handle. How do you handle your low waves or bad days? Have you ever heard anyone say “I am feeling so good, how am I going to handle it?” Being happy “the high waves” are easy when things are going well, but every day is not like that.
When you are feeling good do you ever try to rationalize it away? Have you ever said something like “other people have it better than me so I shouldn’t be so happy?” But how often when you are feeling bad have you told yourself something like “some people have it worse than me so I shouldn’t feel so bad?’
Feeling sad or bad, i.e. negative feelings, is just as normal as feeling good or happy i.e. positive feelings. Denying, rationalizing, or even chastising yourself for knowing better or for not being more positive will not make it better.
So what can you do?
Be honest with yourself. Accept, identify and allow the feeling. Is it anger, grief, sadness, fear etc. This gives you the opportunity to move through it quicker without getting stuck in it. Denying it and being dishonest with yourself can create more emotional turmoil.
Identify what you are feeling it about. What is triggering the feeling? Sometimes it is not the actual event or problem the issue is deeper. Talking (not whining or complaining) with someone you trust or writing it out can help. Just letting it out can lessen some of the emotional pain and burden you are holding inside. Much as sharing a fear with a trusted friend can help you overcome it.
Give yourself the comfort and love that you would a good friend. Don’t just try to buck it up and tough it out. That’s not what you would expect your good friend to do. A hug, a comforting thought. Surround yourself as much as possible with things that make you feel better.
Don’t give up on your plans, ideas or dreams because of a set back or bad day. Just as high and low waves are a part of surfing, good and bad days are all a part of what makes life more interesting. Tap into your courage to make the most of the highs and the lows!
